Love and Despair
by EppesBros08
Summary: Five years ago, Draco left Harry. When Draco comes back, struggle and conflict emerges. Painful memories are brought back. When things settle down, tragedy strikes. Can these young men survive these trying tasks? Will R/H friendship save them? MPREG HD
1. Prologue Last Kiss

_**Author's Note: Hi everyone! This piece has jumped into my head because I've been finding myself recently really enjoying Harry/Draco stories! I am going to be updating alternately between this story and "Eyes of A Child". I know so many of you cannot wait for that story to be updated, which will be sometime this week!**_

_Disclaimer: I __**DO NOT OWN**__ the Harry Potter world, fandom, or characters. HOWEVER, __**I do own**__**these characters:**__ Healer Connor Knox, Ryan Zachary Simmons, Tyson James Malfoy-Potter, Rylee Rose Malfoy-Potter, Patience Lillian Malfoy-Potter, Clara Harmony Weasley, Evan Parker Weasley, and Noah Gabriel Weasley_

**Warnings: SLASH H/D, SEX Scenes, MPREG, SWEARING, VIOLENCE, Maybe CUTTING, ALCOHOL Abuse, Maybe TORTURE, and I will add more when and if necessary…**

**_READ BEFORE READING STORY!!!_**

This is the prologue, showing you what happened between Draco and Harry five years ago… The next chapter, the FIRST official chapter jumps to the present-time and what's been going on with the lives of Harry, Draco, Ron, and Hermione. This story will jump back and forth between the present and past, but mostly is told from the PRESENT! It will never be confusing when it does jump, so rest assured with that fact. I hope you enjoy this story!

_**Flashback:**_

August 25, 1998

Harry sighed, nestling against Draco's chest as strong arms wrapped around his waist. Gazing up at the beautiful sunset as they sat wrapped together on the beach made life itself serene. Back at the beach house were Ron and Hermione engaging in their own personal time. Harry and Draco had insisted that they would go down to the shore to watch the sun set. In three day's time, Harry was due to start Auror training which meant hard, long, and tiring hours during the weekdays, leaving only his weekends free. Draco, come September 1st, was set to begin his apprenticeship at St. Mungo's in the children's ward that specialized in terminally ill children. He would train from Healer Connor Knox and be secretly trained by Severus Snape. Both men would be training the young wizard in potions, for Draco planned to find cures one day for incurable diseases.

Sighing in content, Harry whispered lovingly, "Isn't it gorgeous?"

Draco glanced down to figure out what his boyfriend was looking at… the sunset. For Draco had been lost in his passion of love he had for Harry and how his body tingled and his heart filled with even more love for the man whenever he held Harry in his arms. "It certainly is. I've never seen one so spectacular." Draco purred in Harry's ear.

The raven-haired teen smiled fervently, "Well that's because we've never shared one together, Dray…"

Smiling in love, Draco frowned for a second, lost in his thoughts. "I can't believe we only have three more days of freedom before we can only see each other on the weekends."

"I know it sucks..." Harry began in reply, "But after a year's time we'll both be employed with a balancing schedule and everything will go back to how it is now." Harry made a face of scrutiny, "Well almost as it is now. Some things will have changed, but not much."

"I suppose so…" The beauty of dusk settling in upon them and the aspect of he and Harry alone on the beach and the intimacy that was churning between them made Draco hungry for passion. "Oh, I want you, Harry," Draco murmured as he gently eased Harry from his lap and laid him on the sand. Allowing his hands to roam Harry's tone body, Draco moaned as he felt himself stiffen.

Harry was groaning in pleasure as he watched Draco take off his shirt and leaned down ripping Harry's shirt from his body. Tender hands explored his chest before roaming down to his trousers. "Do it, Draco," Harry demanded heatedly.

Draco, at an agonizingly slow pace undid the button to Harry's jeans, relishing at the pokes his hands received from Harry's hard prick. Harry's cock jumped in excitement as Draco removed the jeans and boxers that had been containing it. Harry got to his knees and untied the drawstrings of the blonde's sweatpants and allowed his hands to bump over his boyfriend's hardening member, causing Draco to whimper in yearning. Once both boys were free of their clothes, Harry lay down on his back and Draco lay next to him on his side, his arm propping him up. Harry rolled over onto his side and their eyes locked as they brought their lips together and kissed. Legs intertwined, hands explored each other's body, as the two young men were lost in the passionate moment. Neither one noticed as their lips slid down to their necks and eventually found the other's nipples.

Several minutes of this routine passed before Harry groaned impatiently, "I want you inside me… now, Draco!"

Draco smiled at Harry's wild and demanding antics but complied with his lover's command.

* * *

Hermione sat in Ron's embrace on the deck of their beach house as they watched the waves roll in.

"The shore is so peaceful… I would love living here." Hermione stated as she rested her head on her fiancé's shoulder.

"This is the life," agreed Ron, "but we should make this a vacation home… you know; a place to escape to when we want private time."

Hermione pondered Ron's suggestion and smiled warmly, "You are absolutely right. I love you, Ronald Weasley."

"And I love you, Hermione Granger." Ron glanced down at his watch and checked the time, 8:30 P.M. "I wonder when Harry and Draco are gonna get back? They've been gone nearly four hours!"

Hermione laughed at her fiancé's ignorance, "Oh, leave them be, Ron! They're in love just like you and me. You know that in three days they both will only see each other on the weekends. Unlike us, who will be working at Hogwarts and living there during the school year. They deserve this time alone!"

Disgust appeared on the red head's face as he let out a grunt of repugnance, "Ugh! I just pictured what they must be doing! I'm scarred for life, now…"

Hermione threw her head back in laughter and slapped Ron upside on the back of the head, "Oh, shut up! No matter whom the people are – love is a beautiful thing."

"You're absolutely right. And I see love every time I look at you." Ron took Hermione into his arms and they began kissing intimately, lost in the moment.

* * *

Spent, after having just come down from their post-coital moment; Draco held Harry tightly in his arms as they lay together on the beach. The moon's light illuminating the bodily fluids that covered their bodies from the pure love they had just made.

"Oh, Dray… That was just… wow. Amazing…"

"Worth waiting for a spectacular first time?"

"Yeah… This meant the world to me. I'll never forget this."

"You are my world, Harry Potter."

"Likewise, Draco Malfoy. I love you so much."

"And I love you."

" 'm tired," Harry mumbled as his eyelids fluttered shut.

"Sleep now, love. I'll wake you when it's time to head back."

"…nx," Harry slurred as his breath evened out and he was out like a light.

Draco chuckled at his boyfriend's feeble "_thanks"_. _Why am I doing this? Why am I giving in? Stop the reluctance! You are to leave him as planned. _Draco's conscious was battling with his subconscious. He knew what he had to do. Dressing the both of them, Draco waited until the early morning hours to head back to the beach house. Around 2 A.M., Draco carried a slumbering Harry and placed him gently onto one of the deck's reclining lay-out chairs. Conjuring up a blanket and a pillow, Draco covered the other male and propped the pillow beneath his head.

"I love you, Harry James Potter." Draco whispered as he placed one last kiss on Harry's angelic lips. Taking one last look at his lover, Draco turned and faced the ocean. A moment later, he apparated; leaving Harry behind with no note or explanation as to why he had just left Harry as he did…

_**Author's Note: Well, how was the prologue of this story? I hope it met my reader's needs and standards for romance, angst, slash, family, and hurt/comfort of our beloved characters: HARRY and DRACO. PLEASE REVIEW!!!! Reviews keep my hunger for inspiration in a balance and on-top which aids my fuel and causes updates to come regularly… Let me know if I should continue!!!**_


	2. The Best Man

_**Author's Note: Hi everyone! This piece has jumped into my head because I've been finding myself recently really enjoying Harry/Draco stories! I am going to be updating alternately between this story and "Eyes of A Child". I know so many of you cannot wait for that story to be updated, which will be sometime this week!**_

_Disclaimer: I __**DO NOT OWN**__ the Harry Potter world, fandom, or characters. HOWEVER, __**I do own**__**these characters:**__ Healer Connor Knox, Ryan Zachary Simmons, Tyson James Malfoy-Potter, Rylee Rose Malfoy-Potter, Patience Lillian Malfoy-Potter, Clara Harmony Weasley, Evan Parker Weasley, and Noah Gabriel Weasley_

**Warnings: SLASH H/D, SEX Scenes, MPREG, SWEARING, VIOLENCE, Maybe CUTTING, ALCOHOL Abuse, Maybe TORTURE, and I will add more when and if necessary…**

**Chapter One – The Best Man**

Having just dropped off his three-year-old son Tyson off at Ron and Hermione's, Harry and Ryan left and headed to dinner at Margo's Oven. Ryan and Harry had been dating for the past two years. The first three years after Draco had left him, too many things were going on and Harry's mind could not handle the thought of dating anyone else. Not only had Draco left Harry stranded with no explanation, but two months later – much to Harry's surprise – he had found out he was eight weeks pregnant… with Draco's child.

Harry had owled Draco numerous times informing him of their predicament, but Hedwig always came back with the letter tied to her talon and unread. After Draco had failed to respond to the tenth letter, Ron and Hermione became outraged. Harry was already depressed and in a state of shock knowing he was pregnant – they did not need the Slytherin causing Harry anymore grief than he had already had. So Ron and Hermione had Harry move-in, temporarily, with them. Harry grew moody and began cutting. It was a stressful four months, until Harry clawed his way out of his depression and became excited for the arrival of his baby. Ron, Hermione, Molly, and Arthur had been there for Harry during his darkest hours. However, the man Harry had turned to for advice and an ear for listening was Remus Lupin, the only remaining marauder and the final connection he had left to his parents. They grew extremely close during the last three months of Harry's pregnancy.

When Tyson James Potter had been born, no one had ever seen Harry look happier than he had that night. Harry had been glowing in pride and love. However, as Tyson grew and his appearance in his physical traits developed, he was becoming an exact replica of his other father, Draco Malfoy. This worried Ron and Hermione because Harry, for a good two months, had begun separating himself from Tyson… leaving him at their place nearly every other day for eight to ten hours straight. The young Weasley couple had taken their former defense against the dark arts (DADA) teacher aside and explained to him the situation; Remus later, then, confronted the young man he considered his Godson… even a son.

_**Flashback:**_

_Harry came stumbling out of the fireplace with a diaper bag draped over his right shoulder while his left arm securely held 22-month-old Tyson to his hip._

"_Ugh, I still despise traveling by floo. I'll never master the landing!" Harry grunted with annoyance._

"_There're my two favorite Potter boys! My, my – Every time I see Ty, he has grown so much."_

_Harry chuckled as Hermione took his son out of his arms, " 'Mione, it's only been two days! How much could he have changed?"_

_Ron walked over to stand next to Harry and gently patted him on the back, muttering, "She's obsessed with the daily changes. I hear non-stop of how much Clara is changing every day after I get home from work. It's worse for you because she doesn't see Tyson every day."_

"_Well, I've gotta run. I promised Albus that I'd come to Hogwarts and have a special practice with all the Quidditch teams to teach them my techniques. Thanks for watching Ty on such short notice."_

"_No problem, mate!" smiled Ron proudly. "You know we love our Godson!"_

"_Expect to be staying for dinner," chastised Hermione._

"_Yes, mother!" Harry responded playfully, rolling his eyes. As he reached for the floo powder, a hand on his arm halted his movement._

"_Mind a word for a minute?" questioned Remus as he stared at the young man in front of him._

"_No. Not at all…"_

"_Great!" The man replied clapping his hands together. "Why don't we move into the kitchen for privacy?"_

_Harry cast a wary eye at the man he considered a father and nodded as he followed Remus into the kitchen._

"_So, Harry – how has life been treating you lately?"_

"_Fairly decent… Why do you ask?" Harry inquired, his skepticism not concealed._

"_It's just that Ron and Hermione have brought to my attention that you've been leaving Tyson with them quite often for long hours at a time. Why is that?"_

"_Do they mind? If it's a bother I can find someone else…" Harry stated quickly with worry._

_Remus held up a hand to calm the anxious young man, "No, they don't mind at all. I'm just concerned that you're leaving him here too often."_

"_I honestly hadn't noticed. I've just been so busy lately…"_

"_Cut with the bull, Harry!"_

_Harry's eyes snapped up to meet Remus' in alert. The man had never raised his voice at Harry in that manner before._

"_Remus?" questioned the young Gryffindor timidly._

"_I am __**not **__blind, Harry. Neither are you… Ty is looking more and more like Draco as he gets older. That, alone, brings back the pain you felt when Draco up and left you. It's normal for you to be hurting when you see Draco in Tyson; however, it is __**wrong **__for you to abandon your son solely for the fact that he's an exact replica of his father… the man that broke your heart."_

_Defense levels in Harry rose and he bellowed, "I am not abandoning him!" The expression of __**'Are you bloody kidding me?' **__that he received from the older man made Harry swallow in reluctance and he sighed in defeat, "Dear God… I'm not… am I?"_

"_Think about it, Harry. You leave him with Hermione from early morning and pick him up late every other day. Do you feel like you honestly spend quality time with your infant son?"_

_Horror struck Harry's emerald green eyes at the realization that he was neglecting his little baby. "My God – What have I done? I'm a terrible father, Moony…"_

"_No, you're not. You are a young man who's been hurt badly by the person he thought loved him unconditionally. You're a strong person having dealt with pregnancy and raising your son single-handedly. Your heart's in the right place but your mind is in jumbles. You are not alone, Harry. Remember that. You've got me, Tonks, and the whole Weasley clan. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it or are feeling overwhelmed."_

_Harry was teary-eyed as he wrapped his arms around Remus' neck and buried his head into his chest. Remus rubbed soothing circles around the boy's back as he cried._

"_Shh… you'll be all right."_

_After five minutes, Harry calmed and pulled away from Remus rubbing the tears from his eyes, murmuring a quiet, "Thanks."_

"_You'll be all right, Harry. Just believe in yourself."_

_Harry nodded, "Thanks for knocking sense into me. I needed it. But now I must go; the teams are waiting."_

_As the two men re-entered the family room of RHW Manor, Harry was greeted with the sensation of tiny hands grasping his pant legs and the whiny cry of, "Daddy!"_

_Alarm rose in the father's chest. __**Why is my little boy upset? What caused his distress?**__ Leaning down and picking up his son, Harry asked, "What's wrong, Ty-Ty? Why are you crying?"_

"_Daddy…" Tyson sobbed as he buried his tiny head into his father's shoulder._

"_I'm so sorry, Harry. Clara threw a block at him and it hit his head. Clara's been placed on time-out."_

_Harry gently pulled the small toddler away from his chest and examined his head. There, above his right eye-brow, was a brilliant red and blue bruise forming._

"_That hurts, doesn't it, buddy?" Harry stated sympathetically._

"_Yes, daddy," whimpered Tyson as tears streaked his cheeks._

_Harry pulled a tissue from his pocket and transformed it into a blue phoenix stuffed animal. "Here you go, my brave boy. This phoenix is just for you. I love you, Ty."_

"_Danks!" Tyson's eyes lit up as he grabbed the stuffed animal from his father's hand, " Wuv ooo."_

_Harry, once again, handed Tyson to Hermione, "So Remus has put me in my place and showed me my ignorance. The practice should be over by early afternoon. I will be picking Tyson up at 2 instead of at 7. And I don't plan to be needing your assistance daily anymore… I am going to cut back my hours as an Auror to spend that time with my son." With that, Harry flooed to Dumbledore's office at Hogwarts._

"_So the talk went well, I see…"_

"_It sure did, Hermione. To be honest – from Harry's reaction – he didn't even realize what he was doing," replied Remus._

"_Well hopefully Harry and Tyson's relationship can improve. Harry deserves happiness. Especially after Draco…"_

_The three adults' minds all wondered off as Ron's statement lingered throughout their thoughts._

_**End of Flashback**_

After the confrontation with Remus, Harry and Tyson had bonded rather quickly and Harry had weekly dinners with the Weasley family, Remus and Tonks included. During an evening, one night after dinner had finished, Ron and Hermione had pulled Harry aside and told him it was time for him to start looking for someone new. Draco was gone; It was time for him to move on. When Tyson was two, Harry had met Ryan Zachary Simmons at a coffee shop. When around Ryan, Harry felt alive again… not so depressed. Over the following two years of their relationship, Ryan had taught Harry how to trust again and how to give his heart to someone and not be fearful of getting hurt in return. Harry had come to really love Ryan but not as much as Ryan loved Harry. Harry was also blessed that Ryan and Tyson got along so well. Everyone associated with Harry personally held high acceptance and approval of Ryan Simmons, Harry's current boyfriend of two years. Now after two years of dating, their relationship was at a serious level. Ron and Hermione were ecstatic for their best friend.

Harry found himself seated across from Ryan tonight, at a dinner table, not knowing what results he should expect from tonight's dinner. Harry did know that Ryan warned him that tonight a memorable moment would be created.

" 'ry? Harry, are you with me?" Ryan asked, concerned, as he waved a hand in front of the man's face.

Harry blinked as he was brought back to awareness, "Yes, sorry. My mind drifted off there for a second."

"No need to apologize. What were you thinking about?"

"Oh, just Tyson… He's been on my mind quite often recently."

"Well that's perfectly understandable considering he is your son," Ryan laughed good-heartedly.

"This place is beautiful, Ryan. Very fancy…"

"No place better for my surprise for you after our dessert is finished."

Harry's brows scrunched into suspicion, "What exactly do you have planned?"

"Shh, not now," Ryan said, placing a finger on Harry's lips, "Don't want to spoil the surprise now, do we?"

"No, I guess not," Harry responded desolately.

"Baby, are you sure everything is all right?" Ryan sighed, "Recently you've been distant… Have I done something wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Ryan. It's got nothing to do with you. It's just with Ty turning four in a week, old memories are being dug up… painful ones. I thought I was past them but I guess I'm not. It hurts me so much that _he_ could abandon Tyson like that."

Ryan knew that Harry's ex – Draco Malfoy – was his weak spot, but Ryan also knew that if he didn't want to lose his current boyfriend that he had to show support. "Think of it like this, Harry – This is all Draco's own fault. You told me that you tried to contact him, several times, and he just ignored every note you sent to him. He made the choice of not being a part of Tyson's life. That was his decision. I know you've told Tyson that he had another _"Daddy" _out there, but right now Tyson knows one daddy and a man that he considers his _other_ father. That would be me. I love you, Harry, and I love your son as if he were my own. You need to let go of Draco completely and stop forcing yourself into that guilt-loop you put yourself in."

Harry sighed and rested his face in his hands. Everything Ryan said made absolute sense in his mind but Harry's heart spoke otherwise. He loved Ryan through and through, but a large chunk of his heart would always belong to Draco. Harry knew that was unfair to Ryan, but how could he go against destiny?

With Harry's lack of response, Ryan ran a hand through his hair and continued, "Look, Harry – I know you're not completely over Draco. I've realized that for a couple of months now and I'm willing to look past that fact… but I need to know, from you, that you'll try to love me fully as you would have Draco."

Harry gave a weak upwards pull of his lips, "I do love you, Ryan. I'll try harder to make you see that. You don't know what it means to me that you've accepted me and Tyson and how much time you've spent with him and taught him things. He loves you as you do him. I couldn't ask for more."

"But…" added Ryan, hearing the reluctance in his partner's tone.

"_But_," emphasized the raven-haired man, "You've got to cut me some slack, also… Remember that it was _Draco_ who walked out of my life. _He's_ the one who decided he didn't love me. When he left, I was so confused because I thought our love was mutual and I was heartbroken. But I will try with all my might to let him go. It isn't fair to you. I am most fortunate that you've stuck with me even though you know I am not completely over my ex. Thank you. That means a lot to me. It shows you believe in me."

Ryan smiled tenderly, "That just proves how much I love you, Harry."

"And I love you, Ryan."

As they finished up dessert, Harry excused himself to the bathroom, while Ryan paid the bill. When Harry returned he sat back down and intended on finishing his glass of champagne before they left the restaurant. A beautiful song began playing on the radio station, _**I'll Stand By You **_by _**The Pretenders. **_This song was special to the two young men because on their first date they had danced and shared their first kiss while the song had been playing. A thought occurred to Harry but he shook his head clear and considered the choice of song just a coincidence. However, when Ryan scooted his chair back from the table and stood up getting down on one knee and taking Harry's hand in his and gazing lovingly into the man's eyes, Harry knew the song was connected to a scheme of Ryan's.

Harry's breath hitched as he breathed, "Ryan…" almost in disbelief.

"Harry, these past two years of my life have been the greatest. You have brought me happiness I've never felt before and I have so much fun with you and Tyson. You two mean the world to me."

With each young man completely engrossed in one another's gaze, neither noticed the lurking shadow that hid behind a plant inside the restaurant. His grey eyes shone with regret as he watched his former boyfriend get proposed to by another man. That was supposed to be him down on one knee gazing lovingly into Harry's eyes as if there was no tomorrow or care in the world. _Wait who was Tyson? Oh well, that's for another time…_

"Harry, I've taken our relationship slowly because I know how hurt you were when Draco broke up with you, but I know it is the time for you to move and for us to take our relationship to the next level." Ryan felt several stares glaring at his back but shook that nagging feeling off as he continued with the proposal, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you and Tyson. I've gotten Ron and Hermione's blessings along with Remus, Molly, and Arthur's… Will you marry me, Harry James Potter?"

Draco felt his jaw drop to the floor when the young man, before him, uttered those dreaded words to his beloved Harry. If Harry accepted, any chance of reviving their past relationship was useless… _Merlin, please have Harry say no… please!_

Harry looked at Ryan in shock, several emotions running through his eyes. He wasn't ready to get married. He loved Ryan, but he still wasn't sure about being over Draco. _Why did Ryan have to propose tonight? We just got through talking about my feelings and Draco… Couldn't he have waited? No stupid, you knew he had a huge question… well event, planned out for tonight. Merlin… What am I going to do? If I say no, then will Ryan leave me? Will he throw back in my face how I don't love him as much as Draco and never give me the chance to put Draco behind me? If I say yes, do I forfeit all chances of making amends with my child's father and possibly restarting a relationship?_ Harry glanced up and his gaze went to the plant that was in his line of vision and that is where he saw him. Harry's heart was racing, his breath caught in his throat. There was the love of his life standing right before him. Harry and Draco caught each other's eyes and quickly averted their gazes.

"Harry? What do you say? Will you marry me, sweetie?"

His breath was coming in short gasps as Harry stood up quickly from the seat and pulled Ryan into a standing position, "I, I… I, Ryan… I'm sorry! I can't do this right now!" With that, Harry fled from the restaurant leaving behind a hurt, would-be, fiancé and a shocked yet not guilty former boyfriend at Margo's Oven.

_**Author's Note: Well, how was the first chapter of this story? I hope it met my reader's needs and standards for romance, angst, slash, family, and hurt/comfort of our beloved characters: HARRY and DRACO. PLEASE REVIEW!!!! Reviews keep my hunger for inspiration in a balance and on-top which aids my fuel and causes updates to come regularly… Let me know if I should continue!!!**_


End file.
